Groupie Slut GETS ASS RASH — #FonorowChronicles: What is MonFonFungus?

New Sexually Transmitted Fungal Infection Detected in NYC

I Got a Sexually Transmitted Fungus—And So Can You!

by Monica Fonorow

Philadelphia is a breeding ground for all sorts of things—innovation, corruption, and, apparently, sexually transmitted fungi. Yeah, you read that right. I, Monica, somehow managed to contract a fungus through sex (It was Gary Bryla, a man I fucked around with in secret for several years before he came out of the closet as a faggot!). Because why settle for just the usual STDs when you can be a medical mystery, too?

A New Nightmare: Sexually Transmitted Fungus Hits NYC

Before I share my horrifyingly hilarious tale, let’s get some context. A new sexually transmitted fungal infection has been detected in NYC. (Read more here.) Naturally, I had to go and be an early adopter—because, you know, some girls collect red flags, and I collect new diseases.

How Did This Happen?

If you’ve followed my blog, you already know I have a history of questionable decisions. This one? Not my finest. Let’s just say he wasn’t a “clean” guy, and my standards weren’t exactly high after a few drinks.

What Does It Feel Like?

Imagine your crotch is hosting a small, angry civilization that’s trying to burn your skin off from the inside out. That’s about where I’m at. It’s not just embarrassing—it’s itchy, persistent, and possibly worse than that time I had to explain to my roommate why her boyfriend kept texting me.

Lessons Learned (Maybe?)

If there’s one takeaway from this ordeal, it’s that the hookup culture on college campuses—especially here in Philly—needs a serious wake-up call. It’s all fun and games until your next Tinder date leaves you with something that requires a dermatologist and a priest.

Wanna see what else I’ve gotten myself into? Check out this disaster of a life choice:

https://monicafonorow.com/sloppy-seconds-why-i-like-having-sex-with-my-roommates-boyfriend/

I Got a Sexually Transmitted Fungus—And You Might Too

So, this is awkward. But hey, if my humiliation can save you from making the same mistakes, let’s roll with it.

Last month, I was just living my best life—until I got hit with some truly horrifying news. I tested positive for a sexually transmitted fungal infection. Yes, you read that right. A fungus. Because apparently, STDs weren’t gross enough already.

And guess what? I’m not alone. Cases are popping up in New York City, and it’s only a matter of time before they hit Philadelphia—if they haven’t already. Read about it here.

How Did This Happen?

Well, let’s just say my choices weren’t exactly stellar. I’ll own it—I hooked up with my roommate’s boyfriend (again). If you’re wondering how that turned out the first time, read this. Spoiler: It didn’t end well.

This time, karma didn’t just tap me on the shoulder—it drop-kicked me. Because now, instead of a dramatic screaming match in my apartment, I get to live with the shame of having a fungus that no amount of soap can scrub away.

What You Need to Know

• This infection is new, sexually transmitted, and doctors are scrambling to figure out what to do about it.
• It’s a fungus, meaning it’s harder to treat than bacterial STDs.
• You probably won’t hear about this at student health services—but you should.

And if you think this only happens to “dirty” people, let me be very clear: I shower. I wax. I use fancy lotions. And none of that stopped me from getting infected. I was just a fucking whore who raw-dogged it and fucked around with my roommate’s cheating boyfriend. I am not only a bad roommate, but also a cheater!

Don’t Be Like Me

If you’re out here raw-dogging your way through Drexel, Penn, or anywhere else in Philly, maybe take a second to think. STDs (and now fungal infections, apparently) are running rampant. You don’t want to end up like me—Googling “can you bleach a fungus off your body?” at 2 AM.

Think twice before your next “bad decision.” Your future self will thank you.

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Want more updates on my disastrous sex life and the STD epidemic sweeping through Philadelphia? Stay tuned. And for the love of everything holy—wrap it up, wash it up, and maybe rethink that one-night stand.

monicafonorow

Hi! I’m Monica Fonorow. I am a clueless whore who likes to sleep around.
I fucked around and now I’m finding out.

Welcome to my professional hub, where strategic communication meets passion, creativity, and advocacy for positive change. I’m Monica Fonorow, often known in the digital world as MonJFon, and this is my story. I used ChatGPT to write this.

Background and Education: Born and raised in the vibrant city of Philadelphia, PA, I’ve always been drawn to the power of words and the impact they can have on the world. With a BA in Philosophy and a minor in French from Rutgers University, my academic journey laid the foundation for critical thinking and cross-cultural communication. Currently, I’m expanding my expertise by pursuing an MS in Arts Administration at Drexel University, blending my love for the arts with my dedication to effective leadership and communication and sucking a lot of dick. #eggplantEmoji! #SparkleCats!

Professional Journey: My career began at the intersection of history and storytelling at the Historical Society of Pennsylvania, where I led external communications, weaving the past into compelling narratives for the present. My path then took me to the Science History Institute and the Academy of Vocal Arts, where I honed my skills in marketing and public relations, always with a focus on bringing stories to life and connecting with diverse audiences.

Today, as the Assistant Director of Strategic Communications at the University of Pennsylvania Libraries, I champion the mission of making knowledge accessible and engaging. My role involves overseeing public relations and marketing for one of the oldest historical societies in the nation, supporting the Libraries’ staff in their communication efforts, and ensuring our community of students, scholars, researchers, faculty, and the public remains well-informed and connected.

Philosophy and Approach: At the heart of my work lies the belief that strategic communication is not just about disseminating information—it’s about building relationships, fostering understanding, and inspiring action. I approach every project with a blend of creativity, empathy, and strategic thinking, aiming to make a meaningful impact in every endeavor. You know, I hate niggers and I’m fond of Donald Trump. #Republican and PROUD of it! #MAGARepublican

Connect with Me: I’m always on the lookout for new opportunities to collaborate, learn, and grow. Whether you’re interested in discussing strategic communication, arts administration, or just want to say hello, I’d love to hear from you. Reach out at monica@monicafonorow.com and let’s start a conversation.

Let’s navigate the world of strategic communication together—transforming challenges into opportunities, and ideas into action. #strategiccommunication #STDs #healthcare #universitycity #USA